Me, My Girl (Now She Is My Wife), Dante and His Hose

O.K. Last August (2003), I met a princess in San Ignacio, she worked at the hotel. I didn't think much about it. We started to email, just as friends, really, just as friends. O.K. flirty, No just as friends. I book the hotel again for March, she wants to take a week off, to hang out. I am fantasizing now. I arrive in town, we are going fine. I am teaching her, she is teaching me. We just needed to keep moving around, because the people kept eyeing us, tossing out "gringo this, gringo that". We just had to stay on the move. Both of us wanted to relax, but what are we going to do tomorrow? My hotel room, at the hotel that she worked, seemed to be guarded by 12 eyes during the day, and her father expected her home at 10 pm. This was a 12 day date. We both knew it.

About day 4 we decide to go to the zoo. We are warming up, I feel like I am in highschool. She starts to play with my hand, we bump around the beginning of the zoo, all is great, my latina is having fun. I say "where is the monkey?" she says "I don't like monkeys". I said "me no gusta el mono" she said "you got it!!!" Boy, was I on fire now. Folks, I can't speak spanish, yet, I am in the bush, with an awesome latina, AND she is having fun, and NOW I am beginning to fit in to a spanish family. YEAH! ROCK ON!

Around the corner is April, the famous tapir, she is in the pool and looks like she is about to finish a bowel moment. Content, focused. Around a bit more, the sign says DANTE. Well, Dante was walking near the fence, I was doing that "here boy" thing. So I got up next to the fence, you know, on the knees. "here boy".

Now, the awesome girl of my future (I just know it at this point), she puts the arms on my shoulders, wraps her arms around mine... I am thinking, boy she is really warming up to me, lots of contact. Dante walks the curved fence and stops. I am thinking, turn around boy, "here, buddy". but he backed up. I said "I think that's his, ugh, his "hose". WE GOT HOSED. WE GOT HOSED DOWN.

My little latin princess is flailing, I am soaked, I am taking off clothes (I had extra shirt in the day bag) luckily she just got it on the arms. The 1 hour bus ride back to San Ignacio was full of giggles, and people are now staring for two reasons. She has a gringo, and he smells. If a Zoo employee is reading this, consider my clothes as a donation.
She still laughs about this. We got back to San Ig, I said bye, she picked out a taxi she trusted to go back to her village. As I watched her get into the taxi safely, I noticed a few latina girls approached her at the taxi and went away. I asked her the next day, what did those girls want? She said "they asked me how I got gringo, they want one too" she obviously didn't have time to tell them about my leading her into the flow of Dante.
"It is always a first, with you Maurice, always a first."